Its 5:17am and I've just had a totally necessary, totally amazing night with a coworker and his wife and friends and I end up feeling like total shit.
I went out with a coworker and his wife and friends, dancing and drinking and having a damn good time. I didn't mind the fact that all his friends were couples because they didn't treat me like a single; they included me in drinks and dancing. I danced my ass off and had a great time. I almost dreaded the time that the night came to an end because I knew how I'd feel afterwards.
I've never written during a drunken state and reading this later, I'll understand. The pain is too much to cope with drunk and I don't know how I'll handle this sober. I feel so alone and lonely. I'm at that point in my drunkenness that I'm re-reading and re-spelling everything to make sure its understandable, but I'm also feeling the most pain. I hate after a good, drunken evening, coming home, alone to no one. Alls I wanna do now is sleep next to someone, even if its a good friend, as to not remind me of how lonely I am on the inside. As I write this blog, I dread and can't look forward enough, to going to bed but I absolutly do NOT want to go there alone.
I'm going to go lay down now, and then fall asleep. The time between actually laying down and falling asleep is so hard to deal with. At the most, I want what the others have: someone to lay next to. But I'm alone, thus falling asleep with not a broken heart but a sad one.
Alcohol is amazing, huh?
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