Kim K (thinking): I laugh cause we all know you're an idiotKris H (thinking): I'm ignoring you and your dumb laugh
Kim K (thinking): God, I'm so glad I found someone dumber than me.
Kris H (thinking): Thank GOD I'm getting paid to pretend to like her; its a full time damn job likin her ass.
Kim K (thinking): ::sigh:: I'm gonna make $20 million to pretend this is real. Just another day at work.
So lets take a tally of the 7 billion people on the Earth who though this shit show was going to last more than a year.
::cricket chirp::cricket chirp::
You don't have to raise your hands, but you should probably go kill yourself.
As I'm sure you all already know, Kim Kardashian and her 7ft retard are getting a divorce. Surprise? Nah. A part of me wants to think she really does want to get married...
Kim K (whining): But the fat orangutan got married. Why can't I?
...but the bigger part of me knows it was all for attention, fame and money. Mainly because Lindsey Lohan was invited; no one really invites her anywhere to do anything.
She's a has-been.
But anyway, I think we all saw this coming. Shit was just too freaky. How'd she find the biggest (literally and figuratively) nobody in the universe and marry his ass after knowing him for all of 5 months? My favorite part is that E!online issued a statement saying they were shocked and surprised. Really? The whole network was surprised that this ridiculousness came to an end? This is the same woman who, because all the camera crew couldn't fit to tape the wedding, un-invited people. How do you un-ivite someone to a wedding? Who does that?
Here are some hints that this shit was doomed from the word "Fuck":
A) Umm...Kris who? (Thought shared by everyone who reads gossip and the whole Kardashian Family)
B) Ooooooohhhhhh...he benchwarms for a shitty team and gets paid 8 million to do so (He's the 1%)
C) She has her whole "life" video taped for all to see but wanted privacy as a newlywed.
D) Her family turned down his idea to have burgers at the wedding reception (because it wasn't classy), but had an ignorant ass Swarvoski crystal cross at the wedding cause that's not over doing it.
E) The channel E! was around video tapping the whole.fucking.thing.
F) They did know each other for 5 months. Nothing says "I love you enough to marry you" like dating for 5 months.
G) They lived in completely different parts of the country and on completely different levels of intellect (yes, there are different levels of retardation.)
This list can go on and on really. The minute they got engaged, everyone looked to their left and looked to their right and asked their partner, "How long is this mess gonna last. Forever?! Wanna bet?"
At the end of the day, we all know this was a sham. Kris, in my opinion, seems to be genuinely a lil miffed, however we all know Kim doesn't give a damn. She'd do anything for money and to stay relevant. This may all seem like words from a hater (cause they are) but when you see some shit that looks fucked up, aren't you going to address it and say to yourself,
"This is some shit that looks fucked up"
The Shatner knows what the fuck I'm talkin about.
I'm almost positive that Kim's 'Fairytale Divorce' isn't going to proceed this shit, as there is a prenuptial agreement and it isn't dramatic enough to put on tv. A prenup right there is enough to make you wonder about a couple getting married. So lets see, Kim has already released a sex tape, posed nude several times, put out a single that people almost died listening to because it was so awful, designed a slut line for Sears (cause we know Kim is clippin Sears coupons on her days off), she's about to act in a movie by Tyler Perry (whom I just lost some respect for) and she got married and divorced at the same time. What else can she possibly do? She could get pregnant but I have a feeling that that is left for that special moment when her 15-minutes-of-fame clock touches around 14:58
The Warhol knows what the fuck I'm talkin about (mostly cause he said it originally. I just stole it)
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