My New Life As a 'C' Cup

Happy New Year, everyone!!

Ok, so I'm 8 days late. Go kill yourself.

This new year has started off somewhat rocky and then started to get better.

New Year's Eve my co-worker and I go word that the night worker called out, meaning someone might've had to stay. The building supervisor stayed and I decided to come in an hour early. My New Years was uneventful, to say the least. We went to a bar where no one seemed happy to be alive and left shortly after 12. Sure, it was better than being alone; you live and you learn. Next year will hopefully be different.

The Victoria's Secret Semi Annual Sale started on the 2nd. As I promised myself I wouldn't go crazy, I then went ahead and went crazy. I attempted to open a card, and because this bitch from years ago stole my fuckin identity, I couldn't open a card. I had to pay out damn near $400 of my own cash to get what I wanted. Sure, I coulda put stuff back...but I did no such thing. Anyway, something awesome did come of this situation, I got measured, and found out I wasn't a 34B...

I'M A 34C. A whole fuckin cup size larger than I was giving myself credit for.

I had to get some new C cup bras, which is what cost me the most money. I can't even tell you the confidence boost I got from knowing I'm one cup away from being a D cup. Now I don't want to be that big, but its good to not be a B anymore. I've probably been wearing the wrong size for God knows how long, but I know now, and 'm fuckin happy as shit!

In the mean time, I got to speak with someone at the volunteer spot about a position being an advocate for children exiting the system that I already work for. We find them the correct services they need to thrive, whether it'd academic services, mental health care services, we help find them employment. And it doesn't just stop in the Greater Baltimore area, no my friends, it spans the country. So I might be doing some traveling. The best part is they reimburse you, duh and they're flexible regarding school. So I can go to school at night and work during the day. Um, JACK-FUCKIN-POT. Here's to hoping this all works out.

Thursday before work, I paid off my tuition! So I'm going back to school. Its starts at the end of the month and I have to get straight A's so this'll be the first semester where I'll actually be putting forth effort to do well. I'm super excited.

I had my root canal done Friday. I recovered a lot better than I thought I would. I was only out for the whole Friday. I could've gone to work today but having a whole weekend off feels so good. I can't wait to have a 9-5, Mon-Fri. Yesterday I was able to get myself together and went to the mall with my niece. We went back to VS and I got us some sprays and clothing I didn't need. I also got myself a floppy hat from American Eagle. So if I was able to do all that, then I was able to go to work today. But I didn't, so who cares.

I'm gonna wrap this blog up and get ready for the day. Jovan and I have might be going back to the mall, again, to VS. I have to exchange a bra and return a dress to H&M. I probably won't buy anything from VS (psych), but we'll see.

I hope all your new years have started off wonderfully!

THE END IS NEEEEEEAAAAARRRRRR!!

So 2011 is getting ready to strut that ass right up outta here and its come and gone by so fast; I can't believe its almost over.

I'll be 27 in 2012 and I want something to show for it. I think I did a lot of good in 2011, what with graduating and finding a job in an awful economy; I've done better than most of my college mates. But overall, I think I could do some other things just to feel like I've accomplished something and not let another lazy year go by.

I made a list of things that I want to get done in 2012, all of which are the opposite of what I did this year.

Here's my list:

1) Get a haircut: As scared as I am to cut my hair, I want something different. I've already been told it will grow back to its current length as long as I take good care of it. (I'm still not 100% sure about this cutting situation. This is my hair after all, which just so happens to be on top of my head; therefore making it visible to others.)

2) See a doctor about my skin: I want this acne situation to be taken care of by the time I'm 30.

3) Redecorate my room: Cause I'm not 12 anymore, shit! I want to get my closet together because I'm not using a whole side and could totally use the space for my growing collection of shoes and dresses.

4) Apply to grad school: This is going to be a process. I was able to speak with someone at the University of Baltimore's Criminal Justice program and worked out a plan that will hopefully kick start my graduate plans. Because my GPA was so low, the chairperson of the Crim. J program told me to take 3 crim. classes at the community college, get A's in them all and send her one of my papers to prove that I can handle the workload and then we can talk about the application process. I intend on working (and reading) my ass off. I want this bad enough so I have to bust ass to get what I want.

5) Continue looking for work: This'll be hard because my class schedule is weird but I'll continue to look in hopes that I can get an interview somewhere at least.

6) Get a tattoo: CAUSE I FUCKIN WANT TO!

7) Go out on a date: CAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO DO! Mind your business.

8) Do my life soundtrack: I want to put together a 15-track album of my favorite songs that actually have a meaning (not just because they're fun or popular). I know for a fact 'Sex on Fire' by Kings of Leon will be on there and possible '32 Flavors' by Alana Davis. I guess its more for like, if I die (heaven forbid) people can honestly tell a lot about who I was based on the music I loved.

So there's my list. I don't know how much I'll get done just because I'll be busy with school and work but I look forward to starting and trying to accomplish some of this stuff. Here's to hoping 2012 kicks ass.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Thanksgiving is a day when we are all suppose to give thanks for the things we're grateful for having in our lives. Of course, there were those who said something along the likes of:

"Happy Thanksgiving! But lets remember to be thankful everyday, not just ONE day"

Ok, I get that. But lets be honest, no one really gives a damn too much until the actual day of giving thanks.

I was able to have the day off from the world's most awful job (that I'm THANKFUL for), and spent the day with my family. Besides being thankful for the obvious things (family, friends, good health and health care, etc.), I thought about the little things in life that I'm thankful for that bring me joy on a regular, if not daily basis.

1) Pugs: those lil guys are SO cute and make me smile. (Look at that face!)



2) Music: "To some people, music is their religion. Going to a concert gives them a high like a Christian going to a revival. Anything that awakens that feeling inside that you are part of something bigger-whatever that is- that's good enough" Caleb Followill (Lead singer of Kings of Leon).

3) New York: Mostly just the city but the whole state is pretty rad. Its one of a few places that has everything! The best part is the diversity of the people.

4) Hello Kitty: If you need an explanation then you're an ass.

5) That Anderson Cooper: He's so fuckin dreamy

6) Chocolate and Wine: Really the only thing a single chick needs in life (besides Anderson Cooper)

7) My cell phone: As much as I hate to admit it, I really can't live too long without it. I don't get a ton of texts or calls but I check the internet like nobody's business. I can go a few hours without but essentially, I need it to get by.

8) Men: They can be insensitive, disrespectful, late, unreliable and just all-around shady but they're necessary to have around. And some of them are pretty too!

9) Leggings: So.Fucking.Comfortable. If there is a woman in America that doesn't own a pair, I will personally use my own money to get her some.

10) Banking establishments OTHER than Bank of America: They're a bunch of fuckers.

There are a ton more things I'm thankful for (like at-home relaxer kits), so I could literally go on and on about what I'm thankful for. Maybe I'll do that as a blog post once a week: something I'm thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!



Are You the 1%....Who Thought Kim Kardashian's Marriage Would Last?



Kim K (thinking): I laugh cause we all know you're an idiot


Kris H (thinking): I'm ignoring you and your dumb laugh


Kim K (thinking): God, I'm so glad I found someone dumber than me.


Kris H (thinking): Thank GOD I'm getting paid to pretend to like her; its a full time damn job likin her ass.


Kim K (thinking): ::sigh:: I'm gonna make $20 million to pretend this is real. Just another day at work.




So lets take a tally of the 7 billion people on the Earth who though this shit show was going to last more than a year.

::cricket chirp::cricket chirp::

You don't have to raise your hands, but you should probably go kill yourself.

As I'm sure you all already know, Kim Kardashian and her 7ft retard are getting a divorce. Surprise? Nah. A part of me wants to think she really does want to get married...

Kim K (whining): But the fat orangutan got married. Why can't I?



...but the bigger part of me knows it was all for attention, fame and money. Mainly because Lindsey Lohan was invited; no one really invites her anywhere to do anything.

She's a has-been.

But anyway, I think we all saw this coming. Shit was just too freaky. How'd she find the biggest (literally and figuratively) nobody in the universe and marry his ass after knowing him for all of 5 months? My favorite part is that E!online issued a statement saying they were shocked and surprised. Really? The whole network was surprised that this ridiculousness came to an end? This is the same woman who, because all the camera crew couldn't fit to tape the wedding, un-invited people. How do you un-ivite someone to a wedding? Who does that?

Here are some hints that this shit was doomed from the word "Fuck":

A) Umm...Kris who? (Thought shared by everyone who reads gossip and the whole Kardashian Family)
B) Ooooooohhhhhh...he benchwarms for a shitty team and gets paid 8 million to do so (He's the 1%)
C) She has her whole "life" video taped for all to see but wanted privacy as a newlywed.
D) Her family turned down his idea to have burgers at the wedding reception (because it wasn't classy), but had an ignorant ass Swarvoski crystal cross at the wedding cause that's not over doing it.
E) The channel E! was around video tapping the whole.fucking.thing.
F) They did know each other for 5 months. Nothing says "I love you enough to marry you" like dating for 5 months.
G) They lived in completely different parts of the country and on completely different levels of intellect (yes, there are different levels of retardation.)

This list can go on and on really. The minute they got engaged, everyone looked to their left and looked to their right and asked their partner, "How long is this mess gonna last. Forever?! Wanna bet?"

At the end of the day, we all know this was a sham. Kris, in my opinion, seems to be genuinely a lil miffed, however we all know Kim doesn't give a damn. She'd do anything for money and to stay relevant. This may all seem like words from a hater (cause they are) but when you see some shit that looks fucked up, aren't you going to address it and say to yourself,

"This is some shit that looks fucked up"

The Shatner knows what the fuck I'm talkin about.

I'm almost positive that Kim's 'Fairytale Divorce' isn't going to proceed this shit, as there is a prenuptial agreement and it isn't dramatic enough to put on tv. A prenup right there is enough to make you wonder about a couple getting married. So lets see, Kim has already released a sex tape, posed nude several times, put out a single that people almost died listening to because it was so awful, designed a slut line for Sears (cause we know Kim is clippin Sears coupons on her days off), she's about to act in a movie by Tyler Perry (whom I just lost some respect for) and she got married and divorced at the same time. What else can she possibly do? She could get pregnant but I have a feeling that that is left for that special moment when her 15-minutes-of-fame clock touches around 14:58

The Warhol knows what the fuck I'm talkin about (mostly cause he said it originally. I just stole it)

Good To Go

 "White boy with an attitude..."

"Good to go, good to go,

good to go, good to go,

Fresh kicks, all day,

new fits, alright,

Drop hits, all day,

then party, all night"

Just In Time

Just as I was starting to give in to the idea that that feeling in my gut wasn't infact gas but lonliness, something awesome and kinda cute happened.

On Friday I decided to ditch work (thanks to me not giving a fuck and some peer pressure) and go out for alcohol and food with a friend. Just as we sat down, she brings up that she and her boyfriend of forever had a really big fight (again) and that she didn't want to sit around all day crying. I asked her what were they fighting about and before she went into her story, she bust out in to:

"...I know you hate talking about relationships..."

Not that this is even the point of the story, but I don't mind talking about relationships. I only mind when a person (most likely a girl) talks about their significant other like that person is the only reason to live. That's annoying. That will make me give you side-eye action and pray that you see the twinkle of attitude.

Anyway, my friend tells me about her relationship woes and I listen, giving her advice when and where I can. At this point, I may have or may have not mentioned the ex Boy. I'd been thinking about him so much and how we ended things a while ago. I'd been so sick of him not being sweet with me that I just ended it. I cried a little, then moved on only thinking of him here and there. Over the past few weeks though, I'd been thinking of him a lot. I received an email from him from months ago that I never responded too because it was hidden in a spam-type folder on Facebook. It was a video clip from youtube that reminded us both of our first date and how much I missed him.

We each responded to the email and it was left at that. While my friend was talking about her relationship troubles, I got a text messege from none other than the boy!

It went something along the lines of:

"I've been thinking of you a little. Not sure if you're interested but I'd like to buy you a drink tonight..."

Instead of responding right away like I wanted, I left it hanging in the air and went back to being an ear for my friend.

After lunch, I got in the car and decided to respond to the text with a simple:

"duh, I'd love to."

We met out and had a good time. We talked about what we had been up to since we last saw each other. It seemed a little bit different from the previous times we spent time together but it could be all in my head. We went back to his house and ended up falling sleep.

It was weird how we were both thinking of each other at the same time. I had intended on making contact first but I got to it before I did. I don't know what going to happen from this point, but it was good to reconnect. I hope things are a little different this time around. I honestly enjoy the time I spend with him and look forward to doing things together (if we ever find time). I'm just glad that we'er speaking to each other.

As for my friend, my advice is for her to break up with her boyfriend. She's 22 and has been with this guy for 6 years. She needs to let go and find out who she is without someone to worry about. Its easy to get lost in a relationship but its important to remember that life goes on if/when that person leaves you. If you don't know who you are without them, you'll be lost. Ultimately its her decision, but she's too young (in my opinion) to continue in a relationship where she's unhappy. She's wasting time loving being in a relationship and not loving herself.

But ultimately, it is her decision.

Is That a Gut Feeling...Or Gas?

Gah, my evaluation from work is coming up and I find out if I get to stay a lil while longer or if I get the axe. I have a feeling my boss will choose the former.

I don't know why she would, because I've had a slight incident at work with a kid that I wish didn't exist. Since then, I've been to work ON TIME, called out only once because I was genuinely ill and had no other complaints (that I know of). I hope the one run-in I had with my boss doesn't effect my evaluation.

I start my volunteer work tomorrow at the Family Tree. I decided to volunteer to give myself something to do. I'm so bored and on empty. Work, for a while there, drained me so much. The kids were just acting up so bad that I would come home physicaly, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I've been sleeping a lot lately because I'm just tired. A vacation would be awesome but I don't have any time just yet. At the Family Tree, I'll be doing paper work and NOT dealing with children or teaching parenting classes. I want something a little more relaxing. I hope that I can just sit at a desk and do work and not have to get up and curse people out. Gah.

I've also been getting into contact with people in the Criminal Justice programs at Towson and University of Baltimore. I'd really like to get my MS in Criminal Justice but I can still get into the field with a MS in Social Work (which I don't want to do. Its dumb.).

I have a lot of things going on to keep me busy and stressed out. The busier I am the better though.